I'm a monster
by namedlucie
Summary: Prompt: "Regina gets hurt from helping Emma control her magic and Emma tries to take care of her." Takes place after episode 4x07 when Emma hides from everyone after what happened in front of the police station.


Regina has been searching through the woods for few hours now. She got a call from Snow in the afternoon about Emma blowing up the police station and almost hurting David with the lamp. She then disappeared and no one seemed to be able to find her.

For some reason, Snow thought that Regina might know where Emma was hiding. She actually had no idea but could understand how the blonde might feel and wanted to help her. So now she was here, in the middle of the woods, after dark and she was still no closer to finding Emma. Obviously, she didn't want to be found.

Regina sighed. She was cold and hungry. One last try and then she goes home. She opened the door to her vault carefully. The light was on. Finally. Emma was the only one who could be there.

"Emma. What are you doing here?" Regina tried calmly, trying not to scare her off. Emma was sitting on the floor, surrounded with books.

"Regina. Sorry I'm here. I'm trying to find some spell of some potion to get rid of my powers." She didn't even look up from the book she was currently reading but Regina could tell she has been probably crying. Her voice was hoarse and her eyes were red.

"Emma. You don't have to do it. I can help you control your powers." Regina made few steps closer to her.

"Stop! Please, don't come any closer, I don't want to hurt you!" Emma placed her hands in front of her, as in defence. She wasn't sure if she was protecting herself from Regina or Regina from herself.

"Okay." She stopped and actually made one step back. "We can just talk, okay? You are not a monster. The Ice-Cream lady just got into your head. Don't let her stay there. Push her out!"

"I am a monster! Did you see what I did? Did you see the police station? You know what's the worst? I have no idea how that happened! I was just standing there and then, out of nowhere, the wall exploded! Do you hear me? I did it but I did nothing!" Emma's voice was breaking again.

"It just shows that magic really is emotion. You just got mad at her. She manipulated you. I don't know what she had told you, but I can tell you probably felt angry, upset, maybe betrayed. Everything was boiling in you. That happens. Do you want to hear how many things I destroyed?"

"Regina, for fuck's sake, I'm serious! I almost killed David! I almost killed my dad!" Emma was screaming now, tears running down her face, her arms hanging helplessly along her body.

"I killed my dad. I did in on purpose. I am a monster, not you. Emma, dear, please, let me help you. I promise, we can practice more, I won't even be mad at you, well, not much, when you don't manage to do something immediately. But keep your powers. We can do it together. Like we did so many things. We destroyed the undestroyable diamante, we moved the moon. We did so much good together…" Regina made few steps towards Emma.

"NO!" Emma turned around, placing her hands in front of herself again. But this time, red light sprung out of them, throwing Regina on the other side of the vault.

Regina hit the shelf with books and fell down on the stone floor.

"NO NO NO! Regina, no, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to!" Emma made two quick steps towards the woman lying on the floor but then stopped herself. She was afraid to hurt her even more.

"Regina?" She made one more step closer. By now the blonde was expecting fireballs flying through the vault. But the older woman was still lying there without any movement.

_I killed her! Oh my God, I killed her!_ Emma turned around, covering her face with her hands, running them through her hair, crying. _What have I done! I'm a monster! Everyone is gonna hate me!_ She turned again, running to Regina, her the desire to save her stronger than her fear.

She kneeled down next to her. She pulled the brunette curls away, trying to find her pulse on her neck.

She chocked with joy when she found it, tears from happiness replacing the tears of sadness.

"Regina, please, wake up! Please, baby, wake up!" Emma shook with her body first, then caressed her face, touching the smooth hair. When she looked at her hand again, she saw blood.

"REGINA! WAKE UP!" This time, she cried out, desperate again.

It took few more moments but Regina finally opened her eyes.

"Oh thank God!" Emma felt such big relief like never before that it made her throw her body clumsily over Regina's in an attempt of a hug.

"Emma, stop." Regina put her arms over Emma's back but tried to get up.

"No, no, keep lying. Your head is bleeding. I'm so sorry, Regina, I didn't mean to. I tried to keep the distance but… this is the reason my powers need to be taken away!"

"Slow down, Emma. We can talk about this later. Now we need to stop the bleeding first. Is it bad?"

"I should take you to the hospital! But my car is not here and you can't poof us away! Oh my God, what are we gonna do?!" Emma was panicking again.

"Damn, Emma, you need to calm down! You have to possibilities. Either you try to heal me or you poof us to the hospital which means everyone is gonna know what happened." Her voice was tired, her head was aching, damn, her whole body was aching!

"Are you crazy?! You really hit your head! I'm not gonna use my magic again, especially not on you! I don't want to kill you!"

"Well, you have to and you should better hurry up."

"No, Regina! I'm not gonna expose you to danger again, I just thought you died and it was a terrible, terrible feeling, I don't want it to be real!" She was really desperate, also scared, scared that if she doesn't use her magic, it could get worse and Regina might die. Or if she uses her magic and something goes wrong, she might die anyway. Or they could both die.

Regina looked her in the eyes and saw that Emma was at the end of her strength, that she was on the border of madness.

"Why did it scare you so much when you thought I was dead?" She covered Emma's hand with her own and squeezed it.

"Because you are my friend! My only friend! And I like you! Okay?! It just scared me! I scare myself!"

"You're my friend too, Emma. And I like you as well. But now, please, I need your help. Are you gonna stop the bleeding?"

"I don't know how… I can't do it…" It was a whisper, full of fear that she's gonna disappoint Regina.

"You can. You always had faith in me, now let me have faith in you. Touch my arm. Close your eyes. Feel the magic flowing through your veins into me. Think about healing me. That's all. Just take a deep breath, concentrate and it's gonna be easy." She smiled at her encouragingly.

It took a while till Emma felt the magic activated but magic was emotion and her fear of losing Regina was strong enough.

She concentrated all her thoughts on the healing, on Regina being healthy again.

After few minutes, the magic disappeared and Emma opened her eyes again.

"I think you did it," Regina sat up and touched her head.

"Thank God!" Emma hugged Regina again, this time tightly. The brunette smiled and hugged Emma back. "I'm so sorry, Regina!"

"Stop talking about it," the brunette pulled away. "Did you see what you've just done? You healed me. You can do big things with your magic. You just need to learn to control it and not let it control you."

"I can't always control my emotions."

"You don't have to. You just have to control your magic. Listen, we're gonna make it this way. Either you agree to learning to control it or I'm gonna tell your parents what happened."

"You wouldn't! That's blackmailing!"

"Call it whatever you want to, dear. Do we have a deal?" Regina smirked at her.

"Fine." She rolled her eyes and got up from the floor, giving Regina a helping hand.

"Did you really call me 'baby'?"

"No! You must have dreamed it! You really hit your head!" Emma turned around quickly, pretending to search for her jacket.

"You can stay at my house, if you don't want to come back to your idiotic parents."

"Really? You would do that?"

"Don't let your hopes go high, you're gonna use the guest room." Regina's tone was strict, but there was a hint of playfulness in it.

"Wouldn't dream of anything else…" Emma said as she was opening the door, letting Regina get out first.

"You would."

"Yes, I would."


End file.
